Breaking Up Earth

Yesterday I felt that spring had finally SPRUNG! When I went out for my afternoon run, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and families littered the sidewalks, eating ice cream treats and once again enlivening the empty swings and slides in hopes of the end of all cold days.

And yet. For some reason, I felt like my heart had not yet caught up to the warmth of the season. I felt cold and hard inside, like winter earth needing some time to defrost. I wrinkled my forehead as little kids on scooters got in the way of my trudging feet and for a moment, I actually lamented being quite so warm and sweaty! Unintentionally, I prayed a begrudging prayer that God would soften the soil inside and make me ready for new things, for streams in the desert, for growth.

This morning, a familiar Psalm sung anew to my heart: "Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts" and accompanying that thought, from Deuteronomy, was "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good....Circumcise your hearts, therefore, and do not be stiff-necked any longer."

Hmm. Okay, God, I get it. I get it. Teach me to soften my heart and offer it to you, Lord-- and fill in the gaps of my own inability to do so. I am ready for spring to come in.